Up until recently I hаd nο problem dating a separated man bесаυѕе I believed hіm whеn hе ѕаіd thеу wеrе divorcing. Oυr dating life іѕ habitual іn аll thаt wе dο. Hе lives lіkе a single man аnd mе hіѕ girlfriend! Wе stay аt hіѕ house οr mine 3-4 nights each week wе aren’t іn hiding οr sneaking around. Oυr families, friends аnd co workers аrе aware οf ουr relationship. Basically EVERYTHING іѕ οn track except hе іѕ married.
PROBLEM: Both οf mу 2 best friends (1married 16yrs & thе οthеr 12yrs) hаѕ ѕаіd іt’s time fοr mе tο demand proof thаt divorce hаѕ bееn filed. Wουld thіѕ bе аn ultimatum? Shουld I јυѕt сυt οff communication сοld turkey? It won’t bе simple ѕіnсе wе both hаνе valuables аt each others house. Please tips οn walking away.
Hе & I hаνе “nο″ problems & I really feel mу friends hаνе given mе doubts аbουt іf hе wіll divorce. Thеу ѕаіd hе іѕ рlеаѕеd living 2 lives. . .
Hіѕ wife іѕ aware whісh wаѕ раrt οf thе reason I wаѕ patient feeling lіkе thіѕ саn’t gο οn much longer BUT іt hаѕ.
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SAY PARTYS OVER
Nahhhh, just go have a 3-some with his wife and enter into a polygymist relationship.
be like its ova boo boo
Why buy the farm when you already get free milk? Ancient saying but right-no reflection on you. But you need to demand that he go forward or go out. Treat yourself with more respect and he will too. Excellent luck to you!
You’re his mistress…not his future wife.
Well, it is weird that he is married, but, many times it can take a LONG time for a divorce to finalize. It doesnt seem like your friends are right, I dont see how he COULD be living a double life if the two of you are together as you say you are. If there was an issue where you werent able to go to his house… then that would be a sign to investigate.
Yeah..getting involved with a married man is messy and not a excellent thought…which you obviously just found out. I’d tell him I need proof or it’s over.
Well, I mean that is a terrible case right there; it is not right to be with someone whom is married, I believe you should respect with yourself & him, even if he likes it, you should be really conscious on what you are doing. So, you just leave it alone, and tell him .. You know this is not right, this is disrespecting both of us in total… you get me? —
just question him if he has filed for it ..if yes then all is ok if on .. then just say do it today or your off .. but give him a chance please .. excellent luck.
when Your at his house just take everything you like out of his house and then the next day just say i need proff and then send him his stuff the time being and if he tries to say anything but the truth then walk away or hang up the phone whatever you have a rigth to be pleased your friends are 100% right
It’s your call. Not your friends. Your friends are either well meaning and looking out for you or they are looking to see you take a crushing blow. Only you know which one.
If you’re pleased, you realize that there are potential problems down the road and you may have a giant crow to eat if this unravels on you.
It’s a risk that you take and only you take it.
Don’t let your friends tell you how you should feel, but take some time to figure out how you DO feel.
Excellent luck–keep your wits about you.
If you don’t mind being the other woman, then you don’t have to do anything just because your friends tell you to. But I reckon your friends are just trying to look out for your feelings by suggesting that you find out if he is really divorcing. If he’s not, the question you need to question yourself is: Do you want to have this relationship progress any further than it is now? Because if he’s not getting a divorce, it’s going nowhere.
Dating a married man is a no-no because you will leave his wife with a hole in her heart. Imagine being married to someone that you thought loved you, and then suddenly finding out that he had been cheating on you for 2 years?
I reckon you should leave the man alone because if he can’t even commit to his wife, nor you, what makes you reckon agony continuously commit for more than 10 years? He he was truly committed to you, he would have said much MUCH earlier that he was married. You’ll only bring distress into your life by marrying such a hard man like him.
i reckon ur friends r right…
u need to make sure the divorce is filed becuz u dont wanna get involved with a man thats still legally attached to another woman…
u never kno wat kind of drama could arise…
He should have divorced his wife by now. I don’t reckon he wants to maybe because of the costs involved or maybe some other reasons. Just question him point blank “When are you getting a divorce?”. But it sounds to me that you’re okay dating him without one.
Don’t start something only because your friends are telling you to.
Divorce sometimes can take a while, both parties need to agree not just the man. BUT…. If its been two years already and he said he would and he hasn’t, he should at least be talking to you about it if he is serious that he likes you. Otherwise, this relationship is a one-way street. He likes having two women. He is a Male. And you only have been with him for 2 years. Not a very long time. You should question yourself… why are they getting a divorce?
What is incorrect with that relationship that he needs to see two women and take a long time in filing papers.
Where is his wife? Are there children involved? Well since yall have been dating for 2 years I would reckon yall have excellent communication, you need to question. Just like this:
I have not heard you bring it up in a while, what’s going on with your divorce?
See what his answer is? And if it is no, then your next question will be
“Well, where do you see our relationship going? I need to know what your plans are.
Excellent luck. If it doesn’t work out, maybe next time, reckon twice about messing with a married man.
if you have “no” problems he would have no problem being honest with you. He is obviously taking what he wants in his relationships and doesn’t care enough about you to listen and participate in what you want out of the relationship.
You’re obviously not pleased or you wouldn’t be here asking questions.
If you cannot trust him to be honest with you, there’s no chance of a healthy, long term relationship. It doesn’t so much matter what he’s doing, if you can’t trust him and there’s no open dialogue to obtain that trust, you must go on.
Breaking up is never simple. Be up front about your feelings and know you can’t control his response. He will either be a man and accept, or a wuss and try to smooth things over to keep it the way he wants it to be.
Demand proof that he’s married like your friends suggest. If he likes you why isn’t he divorced? Is there a excellent reason? Or is he lynching on. You deserve to know.
Question to see proof. If he can’t produce it the next time you’re @ his house. Tell him C-ya until he produces it.
Don’t define yourself by a man. There are other men out there. Why stay with him? If he hasn’t filed for divorce, it means you’re not vital to him. stop listening to his lies and get on with your life. What makes him so special – you can do surpass.
As far as stuff @ each other’s house – take what’s valuable to you and leave the rest. For his stuff – give him a final date to pick it up and place it in writing. If he doesn’t pick it up by that date, kick it to the curb. Or if you want to be nice, box it and mail it to him.
He is not the only man in the city/state/area where you live. Have some self-esteem and get out of the relationship if he has not filed for a divorce. BTW – divorces don’t take that long to settle anymore.
If he NEVER:
Talks about the lawyer.
Goes to appointments with the lawyer.
Gets paperwork from the lawyer’s office.
Gets calls from her lawyer or from her ABOUT the divorce…
SOMETHING is fishy, Sweetie… the *proof* is in the paperwork. Period.
Tell him you’ll be staying at your own house from now until things finalized.
Agony either get serious about wrapping it up or he won’t and then you’ll know.
Excellent luck!!
xoxoxoxo
you have to demand the divorce or go on
One thing, never believe a thing they say about divorcing their wives, they will never do that! Never, ever, ever!!!!
Boy, I do not know of anyone who is having an matter and people know about it, and you are just as pleased as clams!! Wierd.
Oh, you did not say he was divorced in the first section.
I would not use it as an ultimatum, because he will never, ever, ever, leave his wife, even if she knows about it, he will never leave her, so if you give him a so-called ultimatum, then that will just push him away, and no more affiar. You will push him right back into his wife’s arms.
Cutting off communication cold turkey and finding a man who is not married would be a wonderful thought.
It never is simple when you end a relationship, but it is simple after that and you start living your own life.
No tips, just walk away, simple as that, place one foot in front of the other, it might be hard, but the more you keep walking, then the simpler it will be, you walking will soon turn from walking into running away from him.
Your friends are your friends, they care about you and they worry about you, they are being your friends, you will always have your friends, but you will never, ever, ever be his wife.
Sure, he is pleased living 2 lives, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free??
Reckon about it, you are his small sl*t, wh**e, and selfish, I don’t give a da*n about his wife, on the side person with no morals and no values.
that depends on how much you trust him, if he really likes you he would not lie about that and he would not have a problem showing you proof. he cant be pleased being with his wife if he is with you so chances are he will divorce her its never simple making decisions like that, hes stuck trying to choose what to do as much as you are
I don’t know what the others will say, but as a formerly married man in a similar arrangement, I suggest you need to give him the word — divorce. He needs to be shown the door if he does not go on to stanchness to the life you want. The practical getting of things back will be painful, mostly inconvienient. The woman I had on the string got to the point of a long letter reminding me/us of all we shared over more than two years (5ish) and that helped her let go. Do it.
Tell your friends to bud out. I mean, if you have property and the divorce is messy, it could take up to five years. As long as you are confident that he isn’t in any kind of relationship with her, then you are fine. I mean, two years isn’t that long. You have to be separated for 6 months before you even file. So, that takes it down to a year and a half, and that’s after you file the legal separation. It could of taken them 6 months to file the legal separation, so that’s a year that has gone by. It’s also expensive to get a divorce and maybe neither of them have the money right now. Or, maybe your boyfriend doesn’t want to pay spousal support and he’s holding off for that reason. Could be numerous reasons. If you aren’t plotting a wedding yourself, don’t worry about it.
You are too caught up in your pathetic, immoral relationship to care about what I have to say…but I’ll say it anyway.
You NEVER should have started down this road! You knew surpass, but did it anyway, so you have no right to start handing our ultimatums. If he were going to leave his wife, then you should have waited until that happened. I don’t care what he tells you. You act like since its not a secret relationship, that it is alright. It’s still CHEATING!!!
Thanks to you agreeing to be in this relationship, there is no chance of working his marriage out. I know, I know…you believe the marriage was over anyway. Why? BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT HE TOLD YOU! And I’m sure that a man who cheats on his wife wouldn’t lie now, would he?
You should have stayed away, but you didn’t and now you can just wallow in your self pity and deal with whatever consequences come your way.
He is not yet divorced because he doesn’t want to be divorced. It’s just that simple.
And he is not married to you, because he doesn’t want to be.
You are simple and convienent, that’s all.